Every man’s therapy
how to feel better
When things get tough and fate seems to be working against us, few things can help us more than a night out with the boys. Whether it’s after a breakup. After you’ve lost your job. Or after a dramatic event in your family. The answer often lies within your close circle of friends.
In those moments, we seek something specific: to forget, or at least to escape our usual worries and overthinking. But we don’t want special care. We don’t want to be the attention center but rather participate in the group like any other day.
Men’s therapy is to do stupid sh*t. Getting up in the morning to dig the biggest hole in the beach. Throwing rock as far as possible. Drinking until blackout. Men’s therapy is forgetting everything else around and following what your first instinct tells you to do.
A bond beyond verbal communication settles in when you’re with the boys. It’s hard to explain, but hopping onto tribal tasks puts us in a mode where a mix of competition and common goals creates one of the best feelings in the world. You are in the flow and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
I believe you should keep the raw expression of your feelings deep within your soul, sharing it only with a trusted few. Being a man means enduring pain and learning to live with it forever. It means understanding that you’ll never fully heal. And that the weight of your emotional burden will only grow increasingly heavy over time.
Is burying your traumas the right thing to do? Shouldn’t you express them to let them go? I think we are meant to experience suffering and embracing it to transform it into fuel for growth is the right path. Comforting yourself with the idea that you will one day live free of suffering is unfeasible.
Remember, only three things are loved unconditionally: women, children, and dogs. Men can’t rely on pity or victimization. Their only moments of relaxation often come from doing stupid sh*t with the boys.
So be it.
Go out.
Have fun.
Don’t be afraid to be stupid for a night from time to time.
Then get back to work.
