Never Give Your Friends Free Advice

Why sharing your knowledge can be a waste of time and how to provide valuable advice instead

Mentalcodex | Julfi
3 min readAug 9, 2023
Artist : François-Xavier Fabre

Generosity leads you to believe sharing your experiences is valued.

But here’s the thing:

Unsolicited advice is as useless as stirring hot air.

Nobody learns.

You waste your time.

You waste people’s time.

Here’s a better way.

Think about activists who approach you on the street asking for donations.

They do so without considering your interests, hoping that their noble cause alone will capture your attention.

But they are just troublesome, interrupting us in a place where we just pass by. That’s precisely what you do when you give advice during a discussion for no other reason than feeling entitled to do so.

Yes, this is your thing.

Yes, you want to help.

And yes, you feel listened to and valued.

But your emotional attachment to the subject is blinding you.

Few people seek advice. Usually, they mention a new skill they are trying to learn or express interest in something for…

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Mentalcodex | Julfi

Power dynamics expert. I share essays and historical case studies about Human nature and its relationship with power.