Why Nice Guys Finish Last
Is the solution to be mean?
The cool kid was so annoying. Maybe he didn’t have the best grades, but he had the girls, loads of friends, and even the adults wrapped around his finger.
This could have ended with adulthood. Except, it hasn’t.
Managers, CEOs, bosses of any company — the top 1% of the 1% — aren’t typically kind.
The word “kind” seems unfitting for people with great responsibility and respect.
John Wick, Sarah Connor, James Bond. They aren’t kind.
So what does this mean? Is this the way to get girls, fame, and money?
Do you need to be mean? A bad boy?
Well. Yes and no.
Yes because what most people typically describe as “evil” is pretty much the way to be.
No, because being bad in the sense that your main aim is to harm people won’t get you anywhere.
Everyone is getting the whole bad-boy situation the wrong way. They’re too emotional. They believe being friend-zoned, underpaid, or lacking friends to party with is because they’re too nice.
All their maudlin speeches about how the world is unfair and don’t value good people is bullshit.
It’s the wrong analysis.
My analysis is that they don’t have their priorities right.
What they call “kindness” is actually their fear of how others perceive them. And this prevents them from acting at their worst or makes them act awkwardly at best.
We are social creatures. Rejection feels like a threat to our ancient brains, influencing much of our daily lives.
So when someone refuses to fit in, it automatically triggers a part of our brain that senses threat.
- “He will never bend to the rules.”
- “This is not a reliable member of the group.”
- “We cannot trust him.”
From this ancient feeling are born resentment and the label “mean.”
Kindness, unlike it’s literal isn’t a work to tell someone is kind, but that someone’s ability to fit in and adapt to the rules of a group, even if those rules are stupid.
And meanness often describes someone who plays by their own rules and is brutally honest.
Most of the population is kind (or respects the rules) and that’s great. You need a majority of docile members. These are people who will be the useful hands to maintain food on the table for everyone else.
For the remaining minority, some can set aside the opinions of others and escape the masses. These people live by their own rules as much as possible.
To call them mean is just coping. The reality is that they are those who get the biggest slice of the cake.
So now you know why nice guys get the short end of the stick.
And now you know the solution to escape that state isn’t to be mean but to don’t give a single f*ck about the stupid crowd and get your sh*t together.
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-Julfi
