Why You Shouldn’t Fall for the ‘It’s Not a Competition’ Trap
Life is a competition
If you grew up as a boy like me, you’ve lived through competition.
It’s in everything, sports, racing to the canteen, or chasing top grades. There’s always that moment when the group pauses, eyes lock, and everyone knows: the contest is on.
The winner gets respect, crowned as the best. The losers get mocked, sidelined, and reminded they didn’t measure up. Competition isn’t just a pastime; it’s a proving ground.
That is… Until someone — there’s always one — speaks up to say this is not a competition.
And let’s be honest, it’s usually the guy who knows he’s got no chance.
What’s funny is when the second unofficial competition actually begins. Whether it’s when exams start, the race kicks off, or the lunch bell rings. Well, in that moment, you never hear, “Hey guys, take it easy, this isn’t a race.” anymore.
Everyone is locked in because deep down, everyone knows. It is a competition. Always was. Always will be.
As for you, there’s always that lingering thought, hovering in your mind like a safety net. A little voice whispering: “Don’t stress over it too much… it’s not a competition.”
Like a virus, the boy’s earlier words seep into your mind, eroding your initial motivation.
And here’s the twist.
In the end, it’s rarely that same boy, the one preaching “it’s not a competition,” who ends up at the bottom. No, it’s you. The one who secretly let his words take root. The one who started thinking, “It’s not a big deal.”
That stings.
You see him soaking in the recognition, standing tall as if he never doubted himself for a second. Meanwhile, you’re stuck on the sidelines, drowning in the bitter realization of your incompetence.
What you don’t realize then, is that this could be deliberate. A calculated move.
He said it to discourage others, planting doubt in their minds, knowing full well it would weaken their drive and give him the edge.
It’s psychological warfare.
And this doesn’t stop when you grow up.
Many dream of eliminating human competitiveness. The same people who can’t give it up themselves.
Why? Because winning the competition brings resources, comfort, and peace of mind. So, instead, they try to convince others that being competitive is wrong, hoping to outlast the competition by moralizing it away.
Their sermons often leave others at a disadvantage, all in the name of an ideal they don’t live by. And probably never will.
It’s the same tactic as the boy who says, “It’s not a competition,” only to sprint faster than everyone else when the race starts.
Don’t listen.
Stay competitive my friend.
